The Toughest Love

I stayed.

I prayed.

For decades.

But finally I knew the marriage was dead and draining the life from both of us. And the only way for either us to have a chance at surviving was to create a necessary ending.

Even though I know that, for me, leaving was the only choice left and became a matter of survival – sometimes the “what if’s” and “if only’s” begin to drop anchor on my soul.

I see friends celebrate anniversaries by sharing social media posts about how they stuck with it through the hard times and prayed and fasted through the tough spots…. As I keep scrolling, I start wondering…. Should I have prayed more? Should I have endured more? Improved myself more? Fasted more? Covered the house with more anointing oil although the place was pretty much slick with it?

But I have to step away from the shoulds about the past or they will shroud my present.

So I blogged the blurb below as a reminder to myself and hopefully an encouragement to others….

You prayed about that decision like crazy. You probably even delayed what your God was telling you to do because of what other people were telling you to do.

Now…. let’s give ourselves the grace to move freely forward… leaving the “would if’s” and “should of’s” and that piece of ourselves wrapped up in that other person in the hands of our Maker.