Frozen by Feelings

I’ve been there…. way too many times.

  • I’ve lashed out at a loved one because I felt so strongly that they needed my version of help – bringing a cold chill to our relationship.
  • I’ve procrastinated to the point I couldn’t preform my best because I didn’t feel worthy or capable of the task at hand…. I simply “froze up”.

In short, I’ve been frozen in my tracks from doing the very things my Maker designed me to do because of my feelings.

But, I’m not going to be able to turn my feelings off. Nor should I. Feeling things deeply and intensely is simply part of my Maker’s unique design of me.

I’m learning to love myself and the way I feel things so deeply – even though I’ve spend much of my life wanting to turn my feelings off. And I’ve been told by many well-intended people that I could and even should simply not feel so deeply.

Again… there is just no “off switch” for these feelings of mine.

The lesson I am learning is that I can choose to do the things I need to do in spite of deep sensitivity and strong waves of emotion….. or even learn do things with my own unique brand of excellence because I am learning to channel the depths of these feelings into what I’m doing rather than being frozen in my tracks because of them.

When Maker instructed us to “Choose life that you may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19), there was no caveat of “unless your feelings don’t let you”. But He will give us the strength to follow His steps through the midst of those feelings, much the way he led the Israelites out of Egypt through the middle of the Red Sea. (This story is found in Exodus 14:19-31)

All of this is why this quote from Mel Robbins hit home today:

“Your feelings aren’t a choice. Your behavior and your actions always are.”

May “the same power that rose Jesus from the grave” (Romans 8:11) give you the strength to embrace everything your Maker has for you to do and be in the midst of everything you’re feeling today.

Words vs. Actions

I have loved words my whole life, from stories told to me by family to writing my first poem in second grade. But having a way with words and saying all the right things at the right time means absolutely nothing without action.

I can say I am committed to my job, but unless I put the work in on the projects – those words are meaningless. (I am sooooo preaching to myself today as I prepare to trade this little iPhone screen for the big screen of my work computer).

I think James, the brother of Jesus, put it better than anyone when he wrote, “Dear friends, do you think you’ll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, ‘Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!’ and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?” – James‬ ‭2:14-17‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Kind words may encourage the hurting for a minute. But authentic action can change people forever – beginning with you.

Don’t Let Perfectionism Paralyze Your Progress

This post is a “re-run” from a blog I wrote in September. But as I still struggle with #PerfectionParalysis (waiting until the “perfect” time or environment to take next steps of progress toward #purpose), it bears repeating! Will you join me in stepping into 2019 seeking #progress rather than #perfection?

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{Originally posted September 2018}

So, I’m in some training for work today, @emoryhealthcare’s #QualityAcademy. These words were said during a discussion on selecting which type of graph to use when presenting data. But I think there are some pretty good applications for life in general. For me anyway, the desire for perfection – left unchecked – can stop practical forward motion and leave me feeling pretty useless!

Never Too Late to Get Back On Track

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12:1-2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Procrastination: When Enough REALLY is ENOUGH!

I have tried everything… and I mean everything in a lifelong struggle to become more organized, more focused, more self-disciplined and stop procrastinating!  I have quite a collection of self-help books, sermon series, house-cleaning/organizing tools, and so on and so forth.

But, lately (thanks to God’s faithfulness to surround me with amazing leaders, friends, and mentors), I’ve been learning more and more that sometimes our battles, struggles, addictions, whatever…. are really just the fruit of something not being quite right at the root of our lives.  So, this morning as I was getting ready for work – I got a glimpse into something in my “root system” that can lead to a lot of chaos and “hamster-in-a-wheel” running-hard-but-not-getting-anywhere type activity instead of the focus and productive forward motion that I long for.

I had a little more time to think because my cell phone was dead and the charger wasn’t working {insert gasp of horror here}.  So after the initial “I-cannot-survive-without-my-cell” panic passed (and “looky-there”- I lived), I started thinking:  “Wow…. I should keep my cell phone off every morning…. I’m getting so much more then and actually have time to listen to God and sort through my thoughts and feel so much more ready to tackle the day ahead.”

Then I started thinking about why all of our “smart devices” become such a tool for procrastination.  I mean, is what we happen to be scrolling through really all that interesting?  Why do I do it?  Then the phrase “Enough is enough!” kept coming to mind.   On its face, the phrase is about having”Enough of what’s wrong”.  We often hear it as a mantra to end abuse, discrimination, and so much else that is wrong in the world.  But today, those words spun around a bit differently in my head.  Here’s how it went:  Perhaps if I truly saw my “enough” (whatever is already in me, whatever I already have) as truly “enough” (exactly what I need) to accomplish all I have to do – perhaps I could end the constant search for more (more affirmation through Facebook “likes”, more information through internet searches, more entertainment through YouTube videos of puppies and such) only to discover that I have plenty of time and resources to accomplish all that I have been called to…. all that I dream of.

Even lower tech devices, like a bed/pillows/blankets, can have this pull.  Hitting the snooze button 17 times is really me saying: I don’t have enough (rest, energy, courage, whatever) to face the day yet so I need more sleep or to hide under the covers a bit longer.

So I don’t think another trying a new organization system, getting the latest Dyson and a whole army of Roomba vacuums, or reading another one of those “17 Ways to Work Smarter” articles on the internet will help me do what needs to be done. (Ironically, I’ve been guilty of putting off what I need to do now by spending hours on end reading about ways to do it better).  Even if there were a way to magically add hours in the day – I don’t believe that would help (that would just give more hours to put things off to).  But the True Helper, God’s Holy Spirit – best Counselor EVER, reminded my heart today that I am enough.  And, I’m sorry FlyLady and other organization gurus…. Although I have found you helpful at times, following your systems has never brought me lasting change. I believe finally understanding that ENOUGH is ENOUGH is what will help me conquer procrastination for good!

enuff is enuff procrasst

I’ll let you know how it goes….     Tomorrow….  😉

Becoming Who I Already Am,

heart smile sig