Frozen by Feelings

I’ve been there…. way too many times.

  • I’ve lashed out at a loved one because I felt so strongly that they needed my version of help – bringing a cold chill to our relationship.
  • I’ve procrastinated to the point I couldn’t preform my best because I didn’t feel worthy or capable of the task at hand…. I simply “froze up”.

In short, I’ve been frozen in my tracks from doing the very things my Maker designed me to do because of my feelings.

But, I’m not going to be able to turn my feelings off. Nor should I. Feeling things deeply and intensely is simply part of my Maker’s unique design of me.

I’m learning to love myself and the way I feel things so deeply – even though I’ve spend much of my life wanting to turn my feelings off. And I’ve been told by many well-intended people that I could and even should simply not feel so deeply.

Again… there is just no “off switch” for these feelings of mine.

The lesson I am learning is that I can choose to do the things I need to do in spite of deep sensitivity and strong waves of emotion….. or even learn do things with my own unique brand of excellence because I am learning to channel the depths of these feelings into what I’m doing rather than being frozen in my tracks because of them.

When Maker instructed us to “Choose life that you may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19), there was no caveat of “unless your feelings don’t let you”. But He will give us the strength to follow His steps through the midst of those feelings, much the way he led the Israelites out of Egypt through the middle of the Red Sea. (This story is found in Exodus 14:19-31)

All of this is why this quote from Mel Robbins hit home today:

“Your feelings aren’t a choice. Your behavior and your actions always are.”

May “the same power that rose Jesus from the grave” (Romans 8:11) give you the strength to embrace everything your Maker has for you to do and be in the midst of everything you’re feeling today.

The da Vinci Team

Is your team a da Vinci team?

One of my favorite colleagues is a funny and smart process engineer named Alireza. You know the type.... If there were something higher than a Six Sigma black belt (a platinum belt with bling, perhaps?), he probably would easily achieve it.  

One day, I lamented to Alireza that I wished I had more his focus, organization, and straight-forward strategic thinking. He replied by encouraging me that I have gifts that he doesn't and that he admired my creativity, communication skills, and ability to connect with just about anyone. 

But I continued my "woe is me" moment by saying, "But I want to be more naturally focused as well. I want your strengths and mine!"

Alireza's reply to this was, "If you had all the 'giftings', you would be da Vinci!" (He and I are both fans of good old "Leo"). 

The conversation not only made me feel a bit better about myself, but it helped me better understand the importance of teams. 

It truly takes all of our different "wirings" and skill sets to accomplish most things worth accomplishing. 

The goal of an effective team shouldn't be to clone each other. Rather, we should be constantly striving to bring out each other's skills and gifts in order to bring the needed balance and momentum to achieve our goals.

Would you say you are part of a da Vinci team? If not, what steps are needed to get there?

Just a few thoughts to "chew on" over the weekend!


Paradox

For today’s blog post: some photography from 5 years ago paired with a little lunchtime poetry….

PARADOX

in the breaking

lies the becoming

in the standing still

the strength for running

out of deepest anguish

lies great healing

ugliness exposed is

beauty’s revealing

unending paradox

lies in this mystery

what we’re avoiding

may just set us free

©2021 Tracy Mauro

My Healing Place

It’s been a year….

OK, maybe it’s been a few years or a few decades of struggles masked by smiles.

But Maker is faithful to sculpt scarred hearts surrendered to Him into resilient masterpieces.

As I prepare to close this chapter in Atlanta – I am so thankful for the healing that has happened here over the past year-and-a-half.

I am especially thankful for those my Maker has surrounded me with in this season to help the healing happen…. Just to name a few: my North Springs United Methodist Church family – especially the Celebrate Recovery group there, my incredible colleagues who became fast friends at Emory Saint Joseph’s Hospital, my warm and welcoming neighbors here on The Hill ATL, and Hector Pereles at New Living Counseling…. Not to mention the faithful friends and family who have covered me with encouragement and prayers from across the country.

I am so very grateful and more adamant than ever when I say “Don’t do life alone”.

I really don’t think I would have survived had I not reached out for help.

#MyStorysNotOver because it’s part of an #EternalStory. AΩ; #AlphaOmegaSemicolon #SuicidePrevention #Hope #Healing #AbuseSurvivor #CodependencyRecovery #HealingContinues #HealingCommunities

Words vs. Actions

I have loved words my whole life, from stories told to me by family to writing my first poem in second grade. But having a way with words and saying all the right things at the right time means absolutely nothing without action.

I can say I am committed to my job, but unless I put the work in on the projects – those words are meaningless. (I am sooooo preaching to myself today as I prepare to trade this little iPhone screen for the big screen of my work computer).

I think James, the brother of Jesus, put it better than anyone when he wrote, “Dear friends, do you think you’ll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, ‘Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!’ and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?” – James‬ ‭2:14-17‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Kind words may encourage the hurting for a minute. But authentic action can change people forever – beginning with you.

Don’t Let Perfectionism Paralyze Your Progress

So, I’m in some training for work today, @emoryhealthcare’s #QualityAcademy. These words were said during a discussion on selecting which type of graph to use when presenting data. But I think there are some pretty good applications for life in general. For me anyway, the desire for perfection – left unchecked – can stop practical forward motion and leave me feeling pretty useless!

The Unseen Work Matters

Routine… Character… Discipline… Those difficult and seemingly mundane things are the only things that can form a solid enough foundation for the most creative and exciting life you’re capable of. Neglecting a disciplined framework for your life because you’re a “#FreeSpirit” ironically limits how high that free spirit of yours can soar!