Category / Personal Growth

by tracycpoetry

Hard Lessons from Chronic Trauma

Our neurobiology can be unforgiving.

For me, daily bullying during my entire K-12 education made being disdained, relentlessly teased, ignored, isolated, spit at, and harassed in multiple other ways my “normal”.

As a young adult,the long-term relationship I chose recreated that “normal”.

It’s been almost a full decade now since I started taking steps to get healthy and live out a “new normal” for myself.

But I am learning the hard way that changing the situation is not the only thing needed to truly heal from the trauma.

Through a lot of prayer, reflection, and therapy, I recently had a “hindsight is 20/20” moment and realized that some actions and words toward a few people in my life that I love so much were probably some unconscious self-sabotage caused by my stubborn neurochemistry trying to drive me back to old “normal” of being hated and alone.

Though the damage caused to those relationships may never be undone, I thank my Maker for each new day to live and learn and to do whatever it takes to heal and to never again cause such pain.

And I am putting this out there with a hope and a prayer that someone reading this may be spared from learning this lesson the hard way.

Maker God, my old ways haven’t worked my whole life. Please do a new thing in me today!

by tracycpoetry

In The Middle of Changes

I wrote the comments below to share on LinkedIn. But I am sharing them as a blog post as well because the principles of navigating change and respect for those in the midst of change apply to so many areas of life….

If a job doesn’t fit, it is still a great organization and you are still an amazing professional and person. Professional growth and personal growth are rarely linear and are sometimes rife with unpredictable stops and starts.

I have had seasons where I’ve stayed with the same organization for 5 to 15 years. But in my most recent 4 years, I have worked for 4 different organizations. I am learning that is not failure. It is simply what life demands and how growth looks sometimes.

I left one of my most amazing work families (who still remain some of my closest friends) to try something I had never done before… only to find it was not a fit.

During my father’s illness and death I completely stepped away from leadership roles for a season to give my self time to care, grieve, and heal.

Next…. A brief season back on the frontlines of healthcare reminded me why I was drawn into the fields of Healthcare Quality and Patient Safety in the first place. I have a unique gift for seeing what needs to be changed in healthcare and for bringing people together to make those changes. And now I am ready to use that gift again.

I share my story to challenge all of us to not be hard on ourselves during times of change and transition.

Also…. If you are a recruiter or other hiring leader, I challenge you not to quickly toss a resume or CV aside if you see frequent role changes or a short length of stay in a position. Sometimes, knowing when it is time to go shows more professional excellence than staying.

by tracycpoetry

Go Where You are Most Valued

“Going where you are most valued” may not necessarily involve a physical change of location or vocation. The peace and security sought may be just the other side of a change of heart…. or a simple reminder that our Maker and not our situation determines our value.

by tracycpoetry

Warning Sign Haiku #2

If you’re in a conversation that’s making you doubt your own knowledge, experience, and perhaps even your sanity – put a #stop to it!

If perceptions of reality don’t align and it’s just a circular battle that has you spinning – that’s #toxic so put a #stop to it!

In a healthy relationship, agreeing to disagree and coming to the most beneficial resolution for all will be the result of stepping back and gaining perspective. You both understand that relationship is more valuable than being right.

But if the other in the relationship just wants to keep pouring oil on the flame of their fight to be right or they punish you with long silence after heartfelt apology has been offered, you may have to make the difficult decision to walk away (or to not fight to get them back or obsess about the loss after they walk away).

Either way, #crazymaking is too toxic to allow in friendships, family, work, or any environment.

Stay sane, my friends. Even if the steps to sanity sometimes cause pain.

by tracycpoetry

Glimmers & Triggers

As a survivor of pretty intense bullying as a child from K-12 and some other trauma in my adult life, I am very familiar with the term “triggers.”

But it is only recently that I have started seeing a term out there for a precious gift that has helped me navigate through those triggers and live a beautiful (though sometimes messy) life.

In the same way triggers can transport us to a place of panic and survival mode, glimmers transport us to a place of thriving, peace, joy, and a greater connection to the deep inner strength of our Maker.

The best thing about glimmers?? You can choose to surround yourself with them and train yourself to see them. 

We really can’t control triggers since they are so specific to the way we are individually wired and can be something we face often in day-to-day life. 

But glimmers?? We can stir those things up! 

There is good reason you see so many photos of sky and birds and such on my blog and social media feeds. Yes, I’m glad other people are blessed by them sometimes. But those are glimmers I seek out for myself…. Medicine for the depths of my soul.

My challenge to us today: Let’s focus so much on the glimmers of grace and beauty our Maker so masterfully surrounds us with. In doing this, those glimmers will begin to soften the blows of the triggers.

Peace, friends!