Tag / healing

by tracycpoetry

The Hazards of Living with Hate

Although the haiku is my own, the words below are not.

They were written by a dear friend of mine and I believe they must be shared. (I am sharing them with her permission).

Life is simply too short to let fear, anger, and resentment rule. And, as recently demonstrated at a political rally, our angry words may become the fodder for delusional marching orders in the brains of severely mentally ill individuals causing death and destruction that cannot be reversed.

Please take the time to read the words below with an open heart so healing can start for all of us….

P L E A S E ! ! ! Can we stop the HORRIFIC name calling of Biden and Trump? It’s doing nothing but creating hate in our world and it’s destroying society. I’ve been guilty of this too.

Here are my two cents:

  1. No one EVER changes their mind because of what you just said.
  2. Both candidates have negative and positive attributes.
  3. This election will be over in 4 months, but the friend or family member that we fight with about this may be gone from our life forever because of our differing views.
  4. Our life experiences have a large impact on our choice of candidates.
  5. Politicians say terrible things about each other and then glad-hand each other. That is the definition of politics these days.
  6. Social media gives us the opportunity to act like politicians, but there is no forgiveness after saying things we shouldn’t.
  7. Politeness and kindness are almost gone from our society. Hopefully there is still time to change this!
  8. Try to forget the things that have been said about your candidate. Give your opinion in the voting booth.
  9. Don’t become politicians.
  10. Your children and grandchildren are absorbing too much hate in this world. Be a great example of maturity.
  11. Living with hate changes us.

P L E A S E stop attacking the other candidate. We’re better than that and it has to start somewhere. Why not let it be you? Your voice counts on November 5th.

by tracycpoetry

Hard Lessons from Chronic Trauma

Our neurobiology can be unforgiving.

For me, daily bullying during my entire K-12 education made being disdained, relentlessly teased, ignored, isolated, spit at, and harassed in multiple other ways my “normal”.

As a young adult,the long-term relationship I chose recreated that “normal”.

It’s been almost a full decade now since I started taking steps to get healthy and live out a “new normal” for myself.

But I am learning the hard way that changing the situation is not the only thing needed to truly heal from the trauma.

Through a lot of prayer, reflection, and therapy, I recently had a “hindsight is 20/20” moment and realized that some actions and words toward a few people in my life that I love so much were probably some unconscious self-sabotage caused by my stubborn neurochemistry trying to drive me back to old “normal” of being hated and alone.

Though the damage caused to those relationships may never be undone, I thank my Maker for each new day to live and learn and to do whatever it takes to heal and to never again cause such pain.

And I am putting this out there with a hope and a prayer that someone reading this may be spared from learning this lesson the hard way.

Maker God, my old ways haven’t worked my whole life. Please do a new thing in me today!

by tracycpoetry

Thoughts on Mental Health

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month.

People who deal with mental health issues (a good percentage of us – actually) are sometimes referred to AS their illness, rather than people WITH an illness. Some examples of this are “He’s a schizophrenic” or “She’s an addict”.

A diagnosis of mental illness should NEVER be seen as a person’s identity OR as an automatic life sentence to misery and struggle.

There is ALWAYS hope for recovery!

by tracycpoetry

In The Middle of Changes

I wrote the comments below to share on LinkedIn. But I am sharing them as a blog post as well because the principles of navigating change and respect for those in the midst of change apply to so many areas of life….

If a job doesn’t fit, it is still a great organization and you are still an amazing professional and person. Professional growth and personal growth are rarely linear and are sometimes rife with unpredictable stops and starts.

I have had seasons where I’ve stayed with the same organization for 5 to 15 years. But in my most recent 4 years, I have worked for 4 different organizations. I am learning that is not failure. It is simply what life demands and how growth looks sometimes.

I left one of my most amazing work families (who still remain some of my closest friends) to try something I had never done before… only to find it was not a fit.

During my father’s illness and death I completely stepped away from leadership roles for a season to give my self time to care, grieve, and heal.

Next…. A brief season back on the frontlines of healthcare reminded me why I was drawn into the fields of Healthcare Quality and Patient Safety in the first place. I have a unique gift for seeing what needs to be changed in healthcare and for bringing people together to make those changes. And now I am ready to use that gift again.

I share my story to challenge all of us to not be hard on ourselves during times of change and transition.

Also…. If you are a recruiter or other hiring leader, I challenge you not to quickly toss a resume or CV aside if you see frequent role changes or a short length of stay in a position. Sometimes, knowing when it is time to go shows more professional excellence than staying.

by tracycpoetry

Go Where You are Most Valued

“Going where you are most valued” may not necessarily involve a physical change of location or vocation. The peace and security sought may be just the other side of a change of heart…. or a simple reminder that our Maker and not our situation determines our value.

by tracycpoetry

Warning Sign Haiku #2

If you’re in a conversation that’s making you doubt your own knowledge, experience, and perhaps even your sanity – put a #stop to it!

If perceptions of reality don’t align and it’s just a circular battle that has you spinning – that’s #toxic so put a #stop to it!

In a healthy relationship, agreeing to disagree and coming to the most beneficial resolution for all will be the result of stepping back and gaining perspective. You both understand that relationship is more valuable than being right.

But if the other in the relationship just wants to keep pouring oil on the flame of their fight to be right or they punish you with long silence after heartfelt apology has been offered, you may have to make the difficult decision to walk away (or to not fight to get them back or obsess about the loss after they walk away).

Either way, #crazymaking is too toxic to allow in friendships, family, work, or any environment.

Stay sane, my friends. Even if the steps to sanity sometimes cause pain.

by tracycpoetry

Warning Sign Haiku #1

Abuse doesn’t have to be physical.

In fact, emotional toxicity can invisibly penetrate someone’s soul in such a way that the damage may be worse than physical.

And friends, family, and other well-intended people helpers may add to the abuse because they can’t see it, so they question whether it is even happening causing the victim to feel even more confused and unsafe.

That is why I am starting a series of #Haiku (#17syllable poems) called #WarningSigns to help us #CheckOurselves and those we allow in our inner circle for signs of #toxicity.

My hope is to shine light on toxic behaviors so we can recognize it in others, step away when we need to, and eliminate these toxic behaviors in ourselves.

It’s time to step away from #toxicity and into #healing and #peace.

by tracycpoetry

Mental Health vs. Physical Health

Now, don’t get me wrong….

I believe each individual is responsible for taking care of ourselves, physically and mentally in the best way possible for our own good and the good of those around us.

A person with a severe peanut allergy is ultimately responsible for getting the treatment they need, carrying an epi pen, and managing their triggers. But sometimes that sneaky peanut exposure breaks through.

What if people treated physical illness like so many treat mental illness? Imagine this with me…. Someone at the grocery store accepts a bite of a delicious looking desert from “the sample lady”. They ask if there are any nuts in it and are told, erroneously, no. The shopper takes a bite of the treat and next thing you know she begins coughing, panicking, turning beet red, and collapses to the floor.

What if the people around instead of trying to help said, “Oh, she’s faking it. Allergies are all in your head.”, “Kids, let’s get away from here – that woman’s crazy. Her hand hit one of you as she fell – it’s not safe to be around her”, or “It’s her own fault for taking the sample. Let’s just let her face the consequences”.

I’m exhausted right now from dealing with some recent triggers of my own. So I will leave it right there.

But please join me in trying to spread some understanding….