I have tried everything… and I mean everything in a lifelong struggle to become more organized, more focused, more self-disciplined and stop procrastinating!  I have quite a collection of self-help books, sermon series, house-cleaning/organizing tools, and so on and so forth.

But, lately (thanks to God’s faithfulness to surround me with amazing leaders, friends, and mentors), I’ve been learning more and more that sometimes our battles, struggles, addictions, whatever…. are really just the fruit of something not being quite right at the root of our lives.  So, this morning as I was getting ready for work – I got a glimpse into something in my “root system” that can lead to a lot of chaos and “hamster-in-a-wheel” running-hard-but-not-getting-anywhere type activity instead of the focus and productive forward motion that I long for.

I had a little more time to think because my cell phone was dead and the charger wasn’t working {insert gasp of horror here}.  So after the initial “I-cannot-survive-without-my-cell” panic passed (and “looky-there”- I lived), I started thinking:  “Wow…. I should keep my cell phone off every morning…. I’m getting so much more then and actually have time to listen to God and sort through my thoughts and feel so much more ready to tackle the day ahead.”

Then I started thinking about why all of our “smart devices” become such a tool for procrastination.  I mean, is what we happen to be scrolling through really all that interesting?  Why do I do it?  Then the phrase “Enough is enough!” kept coming to mind.   On its face, the phrase is about having”Enough of what’s wrong”.  We often hear it as a mantra to end abuse, discrimination, and so much else that is wrong in the world.  But today, those words spun around a bit differently in my head.  Here’s how it went:  Perhaps if I truly saw my “enough” (whatever is already in me, whatever I already have) as truly “enough” (exactly what I need) to accomplish all I have to do – perhaps I could end the constant search for more (more affirmation through Facebook “likes”, more information through internet searches, more entertainment through YouTube videos of puppies and such) only to discover that I have plenty of time and resources to accomplish all that I have been called to…. all that I dream of.

Even lower tech devices, like a bed/pillows/blankets, can have this pull.  Hitting the snooze button 17 times is really me saying: I don’t have enough (rest, energy, courage, whatever) to face the day yet so I need more sleep or to hide under the covers a bit longer.

So I don’t think another trying a new organization system, getting the latest Dyson and a whole army of Roomba vacuums, or reading another one of those “17 Ways to Work Smarter” articles on the internet will help me do what needs to be done. (Ironically, I’ve been guilty of putting off what I need to do now by spending hours on end reading about ways to do it better).  Even if there were a way to magically add hours in the day – I don’t believe that would help (that would just give more hours to put things off to).  But the True Helper, God’s Holy Spirit – best Counselor EVER, reminded my heart today that I am enough.  And, I’m sorry FlyLady and other organization gurus…. Although I have found you helpful at times, following your systems has never brought me lasting change. I believe finally understanding that ENOUGH is ENOUGH is what will help me conquer procrastination for good!

I’ll let you know how it goes….     Tomorrow….  😉

Becoming Who I Already Am,