Tag / healing

by tracycpoetry

A Simple Haiku

Obviously….

By the number of words on this website, I use a lot of them. I love words.

Words are such a beautiful tool for connecting and communicating.

But sometimes…. words fall on unhearing ears sifted through filters of fear. And it is time to simply stop the talk and let go.

I found a spot yesterday where so much was expressed and released in silence.

And I find it only took the 17 simple syllables of a Haiku to sum it up:

Day moon 
stamped sky

Quiet creek
by the road

Heart flies free
as I let go
by tracycpoetry

From MESS to Masterpiece (or, “From MESS to the Master’s Peace”)

I originally wrote the thoughts below back in 2016. At that time I was trying to look like I had it all together in life, marriage, career. However, inside of me it was different. The junk room of my soul was starting to stink and fester with all the pain, hurt, and trauma I had stuffed deep inside. So when I wrote this, I was talking to myself more than anyone else. And, in time, I followed my own advice. I revealed the mess inside of me to God, a few trusted friends, health professionals, and support groups. And looking back now…. wow…. has my life ever transformed as a result.

Whether you know deep down you have an addiction, depression, or simply a messy broken soul… these words might be for you today as they were for my 7 years back when I first wrote them.

Perhaps we think we deserve the mess we’re in because we helped make the mess. Perhaps we falsely believe we have to clean up the mess and THEN invite God into our situation. But the truth is, our Father God is longing to be near us in the midst of… whatever. But He is a gentleman will not enter our situations uninvited. But when we let Him into our mess, we will be amazed by the masterpiece that results.

(By Tracy C. back in 2016)
by tracycpoetry

Obsessing Over Outcomes

As I sat outside this morning watching birds and preparing myself mentally for the week ahead, I thought I bit about the weeks behind. I thought most about how I spent my time. My burnt up life minutes tend not to be from what I do, but from what I do after I do. 🤷‍♀️ Let me explain….

I’ll work hard at work for a great referral that doesn’t end up working out. But instead of a quickly assessing and learning what I can do better the next time around, I might spend hours mentally beating myself up and negatively impacting the things I’m doing now.

And posting online on my days off is not the problem. I’m a creative, a writer, and a blogger. It’s a great outlet. The problem comes when after I submit the post, I go back again and again looking for likes and other positive feedbacks or spinning downward because it’s not doing as well as I has hoped.

My goal for this day, this week, this moment is to do, create, be and then release. Once it’s out there, I’ll only hurt myself if I sit and obsess and don’t let that outcome go.

And, as they often do…. My thoughts turned into a little poem….

When I take an honest look 
At the time I spend
And the time I waste
It's not so much doing a thing
That takes my time away
It's when I do a thing
But then don't release
And keep obsessing over the outcome
Like checking for likes again and again
Or beating myself up over
The account I didn't win
That is the danger zone
Where my future could fade
Into my own obsessions
by tracycpoetry

Ladies, STOP begging. SomeOne DIED to Break that Curse!

One of the results of the fall way back in the Garden of Eden is the tendency we women have to think we cannot be complete or get our needs met apart from a man in our life (“Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” – Genesis 3:16b). Please remember, this is a part of a curse after Adam & Eve’s sin. But it doesn’t have to be our story because Jesus died and lives to break that curse (among others).  

When we put any man – even a most wonderful one – in the place of God in our hearts, things will get ugly. We’ll either pursue a relationship more than we pursue the very One who died just to be in relationship with us, or we’ll put pressure on our guy to be our everything – even begging him as stated in the image below.

Make sure your heart is securely placed in God’s hands before you even think about placing it in the hands of anyone else. And, choose your man wisely: someone whose track record and not just his words prove his love for God. Then… God can move your guy’s heart toward you as only God can.

NEVER
(Note:  I found this great meme on The Conflicts of Life Facebook page. Great page to follow!)

 

by tracycpoetry

It’s Dangerous to just “Play”at Faith

Some of us have learned the hard way that jumping into to Christianity and “church work” (ministry) in our own strength instead of God’s strength can leave your soul bruised and bleeding.  No more playing for this girl. God has some things to do through me.  #ALLin #FirstFruitFast #AmazingIsHere #ReconnectingIn2016

toy sword1

by tracycpoetry

Feel like you’re in a Spiritual War Zone?

Well, that’s because… you are in a spiritual war zone!  It is a fight.  But when we’re in Christ, we fight from a place of victory because THE BATTLE IS ALREADY WON!

To end my letter I tell you, be strong in the Lord and in his great power.  Wear the full armor of God. Wear God’s armor so that you can fight against the devil’s clever tricks.  Our fight is not against people on earth. We are fighting against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness. We are fighting against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly places. That is why you need to get God’s full armor. Then on the day of evil, you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing.

 So stand strong with the belt of truth tied around your waist, and on your chest wear the protection of right living.   On your feet wear the Good News of peace to help you stand strong.   And also use the shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows that come from the Evil One.  Accept God’s salvation as your helmet. And take the sword of the Spirit—that sword is the teaching of God.  Pray in the Spirit at all times. Pray with all kinds of prayers, and ask for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready. Never give up. Always pray for all of God’s people.

  – Ephesians 6:10-18  ERV

warroom2

by tracycpoetry

Precious In His Sight

openbook1

Because of my faithful God, some sweet friends and mentors, and my Amazing Church family speaking into my life – I am beginning to see that the parts of my story I used to view as curse, can actually become a blessing to others when shared from the viewpoint of God’s relentless grace.    So this was written for and performed as Spoken Word poetry at Christmas With The Arts this year.  I thought I would share it here, too, just in case some piece of my story helps you see God at work in your story.

PRECIOUS IN HIS SIGHT

Children…. Music…. Memories….
So many beautiful things about this season
And some funny things too
Like the things we do – songs we sing
Without really knowing what they mean
Like the profound mystery
Of what really is in that fruitcake we eat
Then there’s Rudolph – nose shining brightly
What are those games the other reindeer play?
Basketball, soccer, Monopoly??

But it’s not just Christmas songs perplexing me
Other songs, too – church songs even
I’ve basically been in church
From the moment I was breathing
“Red and yellow black and white 
They are precious in His sight”
You’ve heard that one – Right?
Strange as it seems
Understanding those words
for me has been a lifelong plight
The words didn’t match up with what was in my sight

In my Sunday school to my left… my right
What I saw was white, white, white
And yes more white
Something didn’t seem quite right
But I was young – perhaps didn’t understand
Just ’cause we’re all precious to God
Maybe it doesn’t mean we live
And worship on the same the same block??
But there wasn’t time to figure that out
‘Cause getting ready for kindergarten
That’s what I was all about
I loved to learn, already starting to read
Figured – just like home and church
School kids would love on me

So on that first day dressed in the very best
My sisters handed down to me
I skipped across the playground
Excited about the friends I would meet
But things played out a little differently
You see, I experienced a facial injury
When I was maybe 2 or 3
Had severe deformities
Of my mouth and teeth
Only close friends and family
Could understand when I would speak
So my dreams of new friends were shattered
As laughter began to shriek

And relentless bullying was there to stay
From k5 to high school graduation day
Thankfully, home and church
Provided a safe place respite from the hurt
But even knowing Jesus – the pain remained
As kids laughed, mocked, even spit in my face
And I suffered oh so silently
Not a word to church, teacher, family
After all… didn’t Sunday school songs say
Christians should be happy -“Turn the other way”?

So in about second grade
We moved to a larger town
Where faces as white as mine
Were no longer the only ones around
And in a diverse community
Now – up close – I could really see
That all (“red, yellow, black, and white”)
Are truly precious in God’s sight
Well, all “others” anyway – is what I believed
I still had a “blind side” when it came to me

As time went along things appeared fine
At least —-              on the outside
With help of intense orthodontistry
And quite a few years of speech therapy
I looked and sounded almost like a normal teen
But there was that pain…. Deep and unseen
Saturating every part of my reality
“Blending in” didn’t stop the bullying
I still thought I was worthless
And attracted what I believed
I still sang “Red, Yellow, Black, and White”
But didn’t feel precious in anybody’s sight

Fast forward to adulthood
For a while everything looked quite alright
Education, great career, & husband in my life
But behind the door of my heart – closed tight
Remained so much pain  – so much strife
As I worked hard to feel loved and get it all right
But expecting anyone or anything
To complete me besides God
Blocked me from receiving & giving out
His perfect love

While smiling on the outside
I suffered silently
Depression – thoughts of suicide
Sad old friends who wouldn’t leave
I was beginning to think
That maybe church and God
Were really just a cruel and senseless façade
So my “church hop” progressed to not going at all
Or watching “mega church” from my comfy couch
But my Sunday school upbringing
Still called out to me
So I had to go back to church
– For Easter at least

So a couple years back in the spring we received
An invite to what is now this Amazing thing
I looked around –could almost see
That song I used to sing
“Red and Yellow, Black and White”
We’d found a loving family with big vision in sight
That reflecting our city’s diversity
Is the true heartbeat Christ

But as for me…  “Precious in His Sight”
I still struggled with that lyric
I sang the words but for me… I really couldn’t hear it
The brokenness and pain
I worked lifelong to keep hidden
Were now rising to the surface
Becoming visible – unbidden

But even when I could no longer hide my mess
These amazing people stood by me
Continuing to bless
And I learned ‘though heaven-bound
I wasn’t really free
‘Til I experienced – not just sang of –
God’s amazing love for me
And as with this church I began to do LIFE
“Restoring Hope & Loving People”
Became more than just words for (one day)
Our building’s sign

Because  I stand here restored
And loved back to life
No pretense of perfection
Scars revealed only to be healed
So today… today…  I look around and see
Much more than Red and Yellow, Black and White
They…. No we… TOGETHER 
Are so precious in His site
and now…. that Sunday school song –
I finally understand it right
Thank you, my Amazing God,
   We ARE precious in Your sight.