Who is your soul anchored to? And, more importantly,  in which direction are they pulling you?

If a relationship (friend, family member, significant other, colleague) consistently hooks you in to reactions of anger, fear, guilt, or shame – this could be a sign that your soul is more anchored to that relationship than it is to God. 

Even the most wonderful human is subject to gravity and is naturally pulled in a downward motion. But God defies gravity and a soul truly anchored to Him cannot help but be pulled higher. So where you attach yourself determines your direction.

So if you find that any other human has a great deal of control over your feelings and reactions, it’s time to detatch.  Does this mean a physical detachment? Not necessarily – however, in severe cases a season of physical distance may be necessary to facilitate emotional detachment and healthy rebuilding of the relationship   You see, attachment is not love and healthy relationships do not nourish a sense of attachment (or deindividualization). Just because you emotionally detatch/disentangle yourself from someone doesn’t mean you do not love them. On the contrary,  this disentanglement is the only way to love them well.

When you detatch, you still love –  but you do not assume responsibility for their individual actions. 

For instance, if a good friend at work is in a bad mood because she is having conflicts with other coworkers, it is neither my job to get her back in a good mood nor is it my job to “fix” things with the other coworkers. Yes, I may try to uplift her spirits with a kind word, cup of coffee, or her favorite candy bar – but if her mood does not improve In spite of my actions – I am still OK and I go on about my day. I don’t get pulled into any bitterness or anger she may be harboring.  Additionally, though I may offer advice on how to improve her coworker situation  – but whether or not she follows that advice – is completely her responsibility. 

Also, if my friend’s sharing of her less-than-ideal situation morphs into gossip and ongoing bitter venting – things that don’t benefit anyone – my relationship with her in no way obligates me to become her emotional dumping grounds for bitterness she has allowed to fester.  It is healthy to say “Since this conversation doesn’t seem to be moving toward solutions or talking with the person rather than about the person, I am going to have to end this conversation {hang up, walk away, etc} for now”.  And an individual who is healthy relationally will understand and respect your decision and it may very well move her to a healthy perspective of her situation.

If you are unhealthily attached to someone, however, you will allow yourself to participate in a conversation or activity with them that causes a great deal of discomfort, concern, and/or conviction in your spirit. (See God’s advice in Psalms 1:1-2 about pulling away from people who are pulling you down). The only one you should anchor yourself to no matter what they do is God, because on His actions are always good and right.

This unhealthy sense of attachment that will eventually erode your mental, social, and spiritual health is called codependcy by some.  But God calls it sin. You see, if you allow anyone or anything to rule your life but God? You are participating in idolatry.

Bit if you acknowledge, repent, and release this unhealthy weight from your soul, God is standing by faithful waiting to disentangle your soul fron all thay weighs you down. And in exchange, He will bind your heart to His instead amd together you’ll soar to new heights.

So, today… If you find your emotions in a mangled mess. It may be time to do a heart check and make sure your soul is anchored only to the One True Hope.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf.” – Hebrews 6:19-20a NIV

I find, the quickest way to realign my soul with God’s truth and His heart for me is by worshipping with great music. So here’s a little something to help disentangle your heart if you find yourself weighed down by relational drama: